My life, my dominion

I've been agonising for the past few weeks and i finally hit top form today.
NEW PERSONAL BEST!!!! WOO HOO!!!
542!!!!!!!
now at least when i go for nationals next year i won't look like a totally twit i hopeh eh.
WHOOPEE!!!!!

Labels: Diary

Yesterday was an all round good day for me.
First i managed to change my flight to an earlier one.
Then my coach carol managed to solve a problem with my off shooting archery.
Then God finally opened my mind to an econs problem that's been bugging me for 3 days.

God is magnificent. Praise be his name.

For a long long time, i'm actually happy.
Oh yeah my landlord also sent me my cheque (albeit £138 short but well it's a start)

i'm feeling good. Even though there's a mountain of work. haha
but i shall not be moved.

God has given me a good day and i know he'll be with me when the days are at their worst.

I walk in the strength that he has given me safe in the knowledge that i am saved by his grace.

Labels: Diary

Continuing from the previous post.

Pentecost was the answer to prayer and the answer was a granting of power. The reversement of the 'curse' that God placed on the people at Babel. Through the holy spirit, God empowered the church to break the barriers of language and once again the world could be brought together again. However, pentecost wasn't the end of weakness despite the granting of power.

For after pentecost, there was even greater persecution, in fact, the church would see another 300 more years of some of the fiercest persecution it would ever see. In Acts chp 12, we see the matrydom of James ( the first apostle to be matryed) and then peter gets thrown in Jail. The is the beginning of persecution of the church in jereusalem under herod. What did the church do?
They prayed. They met in weakness and prayed recognising their sense of need. The focus of their prayer? The odds they were facing and how weak they were and the need of peter.

From there we see that in weakness we will come to see the need for God's power. At pentecost, there was the need to be empowered to speak to the multitudes of believers who spoke different languages. Then came peter's and john's imprisonment and the impending persecution. How different is the power? Well in the case of peter, from him telling the crippled to ' Get Up!' it was the angel of God telling him to 'Get Up' out of the shackles. And when Peter realised the true freedom from jail when he was lead out of the dungeon by the angle., peter was FREE!

Lastly, we will be surprised by God's answer to our prayers.
The doctrine of matthew 7:7 has somewhat clouded the greatness of God's answer to our prayers. we have become expectant of what to receive from God and as such we treat prayer lightly and take it for granted. It's almost a pray-hard-and-long and you shall receive rather than it is by God's grace that we recieve.
But look at the reaction of the 1st church. When peter turned up at the door, they 1st left him at the door, called the girl silly, said it was his angel before being totally surprised to hear his voice and see him at the door. acts 12 v-13-15
They were not expecting anything to the point they were alsmot unbelieving that God would answer their prayers. The leson? Prayer is Powerful and perfect even if our prayer is imperfect. Acts 12 v17-19. Not by their hand but God's was all things done.
Myself, last night i had such a surprisingly quick answer to my prayers. HAve been banging away at my econs notes for the past 3 nights to no avail. i finally bowed, said the lords prayer and told God that i'm just totally lost and really needed him to just open my mind. 10 seconds later, 6 hours of work was finally revealed to me. marvellous and surprising isn't it?

Next up, the pentecostal church and repentence.

phew.

Labels: Sermons

Okay. it's been like what 4 weeks since i blogged about the sermon in church.
And while I would like to post one post per sermon that has obviously not been posible (coz i'm a lazy git) so i'll ty to amalgamate the series into one.

Wat am i doing that i am so free to blog? well i'm basically waiting for my lecture.Woke up late and in the end couldn't get onto campus early enough to do some work before my lecture.

Anyhow yes so the last one was the message that the Church must be a Spirit empowered church, because the first church was set up at pentecost when the Holy Spirit came down upon the gathered believers and for the first time we had a gathering of people in a church (not the physical building of course).

The 2nd half of Luke's account of the ascension in ACTS 1 points to how the church should be after being empowered by the Spirit.

The Church should be a Jesus centered church.

To start with, the first act of the church was to fill Judas' place so that the twelve would be complete again. y? because allegorically, the tweleve apostles were ro represent the 12 new tribes of the the new church of israel. Y? so that the prophecies regarding Jesus and his ministry maybe continued as it as when we has around.

Therefore, the church should
a. center it's message on Jesus
b. Develop the mindset and character of jesus
c. Disecern the nature of Jesus

So to start with what is the MEssage on jesus to be?
It sohuld start with Where Jesus IS Now?
1. Jesus has ascended but will come again
2. he is nowin heaven as Man, Having carried our burden in flesh and bone (thus the explanation for his ascension and lack of remains)
3. he is now our high priest and sovereign exalted to the right hand of God.
4. but most importantly, Jesus still rules as Lord.

In the example of the pre-pentacostal church, we see the choosing of Matthias through the drawing of lots. What is important is to remember that this was a choice by chance but that thte disciples prayed before casting lots. The post pentecostal church is now guided by the Spirit which is why we can have confidence in the Lord

The second part of the message is to know Jesus's will solely.
Just as the 11 prayed to choose matthias, so too the church is to discern the will of JESUS and to do it.
many a time we are all caught up with the function of the church, how people feel about the church, how many people are coming to church. When at the end of it all all that matters is that the church do the will of Jesus. In focussing on humand standards we risk usurping Jesus's place at the head of the church with our own desires. Even the Holy Spirit is humble and testifies to Jesus Christ being Lord, what then sohuld the church be doing?

So how does this apply to us?
Well simply:
Are we willing to accept that the chruch is Christis not ours?
It sohuld be as Christs will not ours
We should serve in Christ's church not Our church.

The church should be a pentecostal church Part 1. Acts 1:12-14

First let us look at pentecost and the portion in which it deals with prayer.
What were the early christians doing at pentecost? They were told to wait in jereusalem for the one that would come after christ.
So what were they doing? Praying.
Through prayer they gained power.

So what are the points about this sermon?

Through prayer we face our weaknes
Through prayer we seek power
Through pryare we will be surprised by God's answer.

Facing weakness.

Praying is a humbling experience. (the bowing of heads, kneeling, clasping of hands, the closing of eyes) but more than that we are coming to plead for forgiveness and intercedence from the only one who can save us.
The first church did not start off with songs, worship, missions, concerts, camps, bible studies, the first church prayed. Praying is CRUCIAL to the church. Prayer meetings are the most pwoerful of the spiritual purposes. Where God's people come together o plead with God, acknowledging that they need Him and that the church is fundamentally about him. And it is through this prayer that the church came to be empowered and continues to be empowered by the holy spirit.

-to be continued-

Labels: Sermons

First of all a BIG DOH!! for the stupid mistake i made during econometrics. But oh well, it's alright now i'mjust glad that God got me through that one.

so.... hmm what to blog this week
Oh well i might as well blog about the huge outburst the other week. well not really an outburst haha. Shouted in lecture last week for people to shut up. Someone shouted something back got a paper ball thrown back at me. HOnestly i wonder if i'm back in primary school. Anyhow i'm not particularly proud of what i did. I had a bad day, wasn't in a good mood, idiots in the lecture made things worst. Oh well. need to work on this temper, and the uk isn't the best place to do so.

In other news. i haven't blogged any sermon yet. coz it takes so much time and i'm so busy sigh....
Went for guy fawkes what must be like two week ago ? no wait last monday. cool to see te bonfire and then have the setting off of fireworks. I can see why Sinagpore banned it, we don't ahve huge victorian backyards to do such things. Bonfire was so cool get to see the effigy burnt, though i can't help but feel that it's a rather macabre thing to do especially since the guy died a long time ago. have the protestants not forgiven him yet?

LAstly, well accomodation woes again haha. Got a flat with Sui, Mish and Yung (my singapore course mate, her two housemates who are both from brunei) we are considering merging with another flat to form a mega 10 person flat just in case we can't get enough people to secure a 6 person flat. it's been a bit stupid but hopefully all goes well.

And lastly, well woes in the Singsoc but wat's new. archery has hit a snag over transport hope things getsorted. right off to reading now see you all soon.

Labels: Diary

I am angry at God.
So warning, if you don't want to hear me blaspheme and possibly condemn my soul to the depths of hell for committing the unpardonable sin i suggest you avert thy eyes and not look onwards.
If you do want to see the absolutely degradation of my brain and soul as i waste away in despair and absolute hopelessness then do feel free to feed your macabre tastes.

Why am I angry at God.
I suppose it's because my life has slowly degenerated into a quagmire of hell. It is joyless, full of anxiety, cold, lacking in motivation.
As deadlines loom over head and the ever pressing goal of the first class honours seems further and furthe away and as i continue to NOT get my work, the added strains of a life that has a schedule but refuses to follow it is weighing down on my psyche and forcing me to break point.
As far as i can remember, there are two things that get on my nerves uncontrollably, irresponsibility and failure of plans.
The 2nd i have somewhat come to let go because of the people i interact with i've adopted a slightly more laissez faire attitude to life. But the 2nd one is what's killing me.

I need order in life. i don't have the most tidy of rooms but there is order. i have different coloured files for different modules. my shelf has different sections for different books. my drawers are filled with different things.
My life is a timetable filled with wake up times, sleep times, bus times, when to eat when to be where (largely just be in the library). I plan where i should be when i should be. if something crops up i rearrange the plan but i've enough leeway that things usually stuck.
I plan ahead, i save money for time i know i'll ahve to spend it.
All this keeps me calm. it keeps me sane. i know what i will be doing here and there.

And in the process of writing this some of my anger has abated as i see the errors of my ways.
But point being that basically since the start of term my life has been a living hell splashed with little instance of false hope.
I'm at that point in life where on a minute level similar to Job i think God's just playing a collossal joke on me. YOu ge a silver lining here and there and after that it just pours on your birthday (figuratively).
So while i KNOW that i should trust God with my life right now it's just so messed up that i really dunno what to do.
It's just so frustrating. i just want to SCREAM. but i don't ahve anywhere to do it.
Right now everything has gone pear shaped
the money issue is driving me nuts
it made all the small things that happening to me worse that they are and they in turn are reminidng me about my misery and i remember the money issue.
I pray for rest, i pray for release from the binds of money. i have been praying but nothing's happening? i did feel better when i tithed but right now i'm even thinking about it on Sunday in church. i'll be singing a hymn and then i'd drift of to thinking about where my money is.
i'm really tired from all this. i just want rest.

Labels: Diary