My life, my dominion

I think yesterday's very short entry calls for a little explanation.
Essentially, i woke up and basically the first human contact i had that day was to find out that someone had died on teh track preceeding my station resulting in a cancellation of the majority of trains. I was left cursing the fact that i would be late for work and at the same time thking why of all things people keep falling into the tracks over here. believe me it happnes on a rather regular basis, ask anyone in london and they will tell yo uthat train delays are often due to,' attention please, owing to a person on the tracks, there are delays on the ...... line till further notice' sheesh. And then i remembered that a couple of days ago i saw this eurostar train (the one that runs from waterloo to calais) with a red splatter on the nose. hmmm...
oh well then i realised it was a rather mean thing to be cursing someone's death and it was 9/11 the day before and there was all these stories about people who los their lives.

People dying is no joke. It's not because other people suffer along with the death. personally i thnk the person who has it easiest is the rotting corpse. Imagine at death, well at least according to us christians, you finally attain wisdom (if yo udidn't have it before) and recognise all the wonders and secrets of the world. at this point there is only one thing left to do and that is to slap one's forehead homer style and go D'OH! But other than that, you'd get closure. Hell or Heaven. Okay so this isn't exactly a good represetation of how i should portray christianity. i apologise i'm just having a go here so don't gripe. But honestly, for people who commit suicide, really it's rather selfish.Everyone left behind has to clean up after any mess you left behind. it's just not fair to them you thikn you're solving a problem but you're just creating another one. all those suicide bombers, i admire their faith (though it is tinted with the greed of having 72 virgins waiting for them etc etc) but honestly, your kids? who's going to be their father? the imams? who's going to protect your daughter, teach your son, love your wife? There's all those stories of desperate guys doing it for money with assurances that their families will be well taken care off money doesn't buy a family.
so yeah i was thinking about death in that aspect.
Also there were all these guys being flown back in boxes to scotland after getting killed in Afghanistan. All soldiers. Sad. YOu really don't sign up thiking you're going to die, and even when yo uget thrown into the foray you don't think you're going to get hit i suppose. And there's nothing glamourous about dying on the battlefield. i think it's lonely. everyone can't really give you any attention because they've got their own lives to worry about, you're a million miles away from loved ones.
I'll be glad when i die, coz then it would end it all. i'm just thinking if there'd be any sadness that i'd leave behind