My life, my dominion

I believe in God the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth,
And in Jesus Christ His only son our Lord,
Who was conceived by the Holy Spirit,
born of the virgin Mary,
suffered under Pontius Pilate,
was crucified, dead and buried.
He descended into Hades.
On the third day he rose from the dead.
He ascended into Heaven and sits on the right hand of God the Father Almighty.
From there he shall come to judge the living and the dead.
I believe in the Holy Spirit
The Holy Christian Church,
The Communion of Saints
The Forgiveness of Sins
The Ressurection of the Body
and the Life Everlasting
Amen.

Yup that is the Apostle's creed and very succintly summarises my beliefs.

On to the break up issue.

Break ups probably surprise the outsiders than the people who involved in it. Of all the break ups i've witnessed, i have never in my life not felt surprised. Okay so sometimes they were expected but then again, they still surprised. I mean, one moment you think that everything is fine, then the next boom, the amoeba procreates. Most of the time i only find out rather late but then again, hardly anyone finds out first had unless there is what i call a "slapping incident".

So like i've said, it is the one issue that i have no idea how to talk about with other people coz i've enver experienced before (and hopefully dun have to). I wonder, what give the impetus? What is the spark? How does it progress? is it like the Big Bang where after some random reaction of nothingness BANG! and the two are now 15 billion light years apart? Or is it like siamese twins, inseparable at first but after a gruelling surgery the the pair are now individuals. And even then the result of the two different type of separations is quite different too! In the former, the feeling is totally cut, the two hardly meet, like the rare alignment of all the planets in the solar system and when they do, the encounter is brief and somewhat tension filled if not then it is just an empty brushing of shoulders. The latter is somewhat more sentimental. The two still keep in touch, the separation is painful at first but somewhat more amiable. Eventually separate routes will be taken but both will have important roles in the other.
That's all that i can theorise from all that i've seen. Nothing much else.

But that still doesn't tell me what causes break ups. I've heard many reasons. Tension and unhappiness. The feeling just fizzled out. Distance. Change of heart. Sometimes the reason is a secret even better kept than a female celebrity's weight. And it makes me wonder, what would be my reason? For that matter, is it really possible to envision a break up? I can't, sure i've discussed it a few times, i've joked about it, i've laughed off the matter but i can't really envision it. I can't simulate it neither can i think of any reason why i might. And just how do to people come to the stage where they want to break up (or at least when one of them wants to.) In the beginning, there's the "I love you's" etc and the mushy letter. THe lovey dovey commitments to fly to the moon and back and all that stuff. But if a pair were to break up, then does that mean for all that time that they were together, everything was a lie? That there were just masquerading and then finally got tired of it?

Were we kidding ourselves right from the start? For me i think that lying to another person about your feelings is possibly not as bad as lying to yourself! For all that you would invest into that relationship, all that you sacrificed, and to finally realise that it was all one big show, a play that went not according to script. I daren't not say horribly wrong, because, since we are lying then perhaps we the script was to end as such. We, perhaps, are all just got too engrossed into our charaters that we forgot the lines and storyline. We drift helplessly with the play before the final scene cuts us short.

But maybe perhaps, we imagine things. we make things so complicated that they were bound for disaster. Until we can finally have simple relationships, we really will continually botch each attempt at a good relationship. do we work that way? Do we necessarily have to burnt first before we dare taste again? I certainly hope not.