My life, my dominion

Okay my dear friends. As my friend you will excuse me if i am a bit gross on this veyr personal bit of the website.

Well basically what have i learnt today? um...... that it is not advisable to wear the same uniform for two days of duty with 3 days of work inbetween, no matter how much you air it.

Okay so i've kinda de-evolved into some slob who still works at his hygiene by washing his clothes every week.... okay so that itself sounds dumb and almost offensive but it really isn't that big a deal. I mean every one of the 768 guys here smells kinda similar. Of course there are the transition periods that are around 530 am and pm where some people bathe and some people don't. If you happen to be the type like me who works till nine at night (okay so some of you study later than that granted but look at it this way, it's work, it doesn't end, there's no break, and it actually requires you to use a large amount of grey matter) then yeah, you start developing your very own quarantine zone and everyone looks at you like some habitat, interesting but ultimately revolting.


Well i never said that i wouldn't talk about anything personal in this blog. Actually come to think of it, this blog has been nothing but personal so why not? I do have my right to "air" my views hahaha.

Okay so i'm being gross coz basically really you can tell i'm just totally losing my mind

have been surviving on 2 hours of sleep for the past few days due to insomnia and work and duty. and well basically i'm just zonked.

and dissed. really this past 7 days has just seen my temper totally shoot over the scale, reach mars then take a short sabbatical at jupiter, make an errand stop at alpha centurai before finally hitting home to the horse head nebula. I've lost it really, i've really lost it. 2 decades of control or less than perfect control. I think well um the best way to describe is the way i am most familiar with now. Take any weapon, ti will ahve a firing mechanism that like all good and proper machines will slowly wear and break down. Therefore after a certain time period the parts have to be tested. I'm pretty much like a weapon eternally put at safe, can't trigger off but have a mag full of rounds just waiting to be expended. and everynow and then the magazine gets un loaded and then i get relief but not for long, i'm checked and cleared, free of ammo, then loaded again and the torture begins again. Well someone basically forgot to do the regular checks on my sear and safety mechanism and well it's worn. and i'm now a runaway gun. Some of us laugh at the metaphor but really, until you've seen a runaway gun, you really don't know how frightening it can be. that's what i'm like. really. Basically if you drop any weapon it would probably trigger off a round. For me, the parts are so badly worn out that well, one wrong touch and i'm just shooting off all over the place.

I'm sorry.

She came to me on a dizzy afternoon. I was just standing there admiring the grass, the tall tree in the distance and she walked right next to me. She asked, "that's a lot of beauty to admire in one lifetime isn't it?" and i replied with a smile, " but it at least makes this lifetime worthwhile."
Only then did I realise that i had actually been talking to someone without even thinking.
I glance right and she wasn't looking at me. She was looking out. At what i couldn't tell. Maybe we were looking at the same thing. I turned my sight to the outstretched lands. "Anything that you would like to take back with you?"
"Yes, all of it. And it's already here. Thank you for sharing it with me".
"My pleasure, though i must be thankful for you being willing to behold it together."