My life, my dominion

Heh, understandably, my previous post was rather worrying. Heh, I won't say that I intended to shock; I don't seek sympathy. Neither do I want to cause anyone depressoin after they have read this blog. But I do realise that it is an inherent by-product of this portal for free expression. Thankfully it isn't that "free". I've yet to let my tongue fun free, as it is now, i can hardly communicate at work without a string of wantonly chosen expletives usually of a similar nature.
Thank goodness I've code changed long enough to at least be able to not speak like that in the civilian world.

Anyhow, as impled by the title i'm um getting better but i'm not better. Er.... let me explain. I've very much like a cancer patient (please i am in no way making fun of them). The problem is still there, tumour, malignant cells etc, bu somehow one doesn't feel as sick. Bad analogy but it's the only one that I could think of.

So yep. Thanks Girl(you know who you are) for the really nice message. Meant a lot. I think i'll get better or at least I'll get numb to this real pain of a life. Haha. There's always a brighter day. And I've been through worse, just not as long, pray, pray, pray, pray that I'll pull through. I guess I've worked too hard, the road to happiness is just there, i just have to wait a little longer.

And yes, feeling a little poetic today. Actually I just stumbled upon a few poems i wrote a few years ago when the English language still thrived freely in my sould. It does have a little to do with my current "problem" but as poetry goes, to each his own interpretation.

King

I saw him
There on his throne
Simple and flat, nothing fancy
But a throne to him
all the same.
His subjects number
the sands of the shore
Bowing to him as they approach
presenting their homage at his feet.
His kingdom only what
I could dream of
Where his want would
carry him.
But i am not like
Him carefree, content, composed.
I want more, nothing
I have can make me a king.
I want the life I want, to
strive for the better.
The beggar has moved on to the next street.

Tootles!